Movie Review: Closer

I literally finished watching this movie a second ago, and it's gotten under my skin so much that I felt compelled to write about it. It's one of those critically acclaimed but unfortunately not so well known plays, and I think it's almost better that fewer people know about it; because not everybody deserves to know the gritty yet surreal tale of four people in a tangled web of lust and deceit, all relating back to the cause of almost every break up: love, or lack of.

Okay, so Jude Law is in it. And if I could choose anyone in the world to chain to my side forever, it would be Jude Law. Anything with him in it is automatically hugely appealing to me because, he is hot. I mean, those baby blues? That clipped London accent? The messy hair and the earnest roles he always plays? Yes, please. And, although he's kind of old and I probably should not think this, Clive Owen (who plays Larry) is just a little bit hot, too. I mean, come on- there's something about his accent and his pervy character. It's so wierd; but then Closer is designed to turn the tables. The people who seem good aren't; the people who you think you've got pegged as evil turn out to be human. Everything is upside down, just as it is in the real world.

But I didn't just turn to this play-turned-movie for the man candy. Oh no; Natalie Portman is in it, too, and ever since her performance in The Other Boleyn Girl as Anne Boleyn (a personal heroine, in a twisted sort of way) I've been intrigued to see what else she can do. And what I've discovered about her is that I always like her best when she's playing cynical, bitter, jaded women who are as sly and clever as they are seductive and charismatic. First Anne Boleyn, then Leslie the gambler in My Blueberry Nights. But never have I seen her so exquisitely portray a multi-dimensional character, one who you can intenely love and hate simeltaneously. Alice Ayres is a fascinating girl, alright, and Portman was just perfect. And I'm always a fan of Julia Roberts- the woman is a legend, although I think her performance was far overshadowed by Portman's brilliance. Except the scene where Anna and Larry are breaking up and she utters the fabulous line, 'He tastes like you but sweeter!'

Just the ups and downs of the people in the story intrigued me; like, no one is ever totally good or bad and this movie just decided to baldly state it for once instead of employing the usual good guy/bad guy routine. And how much more interesting it is! To see Jude Law being so cute at the beginning, then becoming such a wanker towards Alice, and then doing a full 360 and falling apart because she leaves him is far more compelling viewing than watching him schmooze women (although I'd happily watch that, too, thanks). And the concept of lies and truth; the use of irony and strong language; god, there aren't enough words to describe the effectiveness of Closer.

This is my favourite scene in the entire movie. It combines the real and the surreal; the glitz and what lies beneath it; the drama and the lull and the beautiful and the ugly. It sells sex and pain and anguish and whats more, it does it really well. Natalie Portman is absolutely dazzling as she plays an almost-whore, and the irony in the fateful line 'Lying is the most fun a girl can have without taking her clothes off.. but it's better if you do' is astounding. Undoubtedly, Closer is the best movie I have seen in months, maybe even years.

Listen to these songs right now.

Another top 10 of my current favourites is gonna ensue. Readers, feel priveleged- I'm sharing some of my best kept secrets and I hate everybody knowing about my obscure bands. So here we go; the 10 I can't stop playing right now.



10. Tegan & Sara- I Know I Know I Know

I actually love T&S, although until recently the only song I really knew was Nineteen (which is fucking amazing, go away, find it and download it.) But then this song randomly appeared on my iTunes shuffle and I've had it practically on repeat since. The lyrics describe the difficulties of a long term relationship and the voice of one of the girls (I forget which one) is so desperate and poignant as she sings 'Tell me this love hasn't changed me, hasn't changed me at all..' If you love alternative Canadian duos who are related, you'll have hit the jackpot!

9. The Reindeer Section- I'll Be Here When You Wake

The Reindeer Section are one of those adorable ensemble groups, consisting of various members of different bands. The brains behind this one is the guy from Snow Patrol, who decided to round up after a drunken night out. Well, if this beautiful soft-folky song is the result then he can make as many drunken pacts as he likes! I love this song- I love the soft, dreamy vocals, the cute and slightly vague lyrics and the incessantly catchy flute hook. It makes me want to hug the nearest person.

8. Hot Chip- Ready For The Floor

I used to loathe this song with a vehement passion because it was my alarm signal, and can you imagine anything more annoying than being woken up by 'Do It Do It Do It Do I Do It Do It Do It Now' being sung over and over? No. But eventually I grew to love this quirky piece of electro-alternative pop and the band's hairy lead singer after a spot on NMTB. And it SO gets you in the mood for a party- try dancing around your bedroom, hairbrush in one hand and glass of wine in the other. Works a treat!

7. Dresden Dolls- Night Reconnaisance

The Dresden Dolls are firm favourites of mine because they're unlike anything else I've ever heard, branding themselves 'Brechitan Punk Cabaret'. And this song certainly doesn't disappoint. It's a story of being a high school misfit, detailing the cliques to an energetic piano riff and Palmer's volatile vocals, and then describing the outcast's acts of vengeance, stealing gnomes from the lawns of their enemies. It's so quirky, and yet so loveable. I searched high and low for the hilarious video on YouTube, but they've removed it because of 'copyright issues'. Wankers.

6. Oasis- The Importance of Being Idle

Undoubtedly my favourite Oasis track ever. I've never heard sloth be described so articulately and insightfully. Now I was never a fan of the band, to be honest- and it angered me when people made comparisons with the Beatles. But in this song, I can see where they're coming from. It's such an intelligent and well structured track, and the Gallagher vocals are as strong as ever before- he's almost wailing, but he's making it a good thing. And the video is absolutely fucking killer- what a homage to the Kinks.

5. The Beatles- Eleanor Rigby

This is definately my favourite song by The Beatles, and coincidentally it's my most played on iTunes (75 times, if you're interested). It's so chilling to me- I love songs that tell a story, and this is primarily a well crafted tale of loneliness in a man and a woman, simply featuring amazing vocals and a legendary string arrangement. I could listen to it for hours at a time because it's so beautiful to me and the lyrics are so amazing. It makes you understand Beatlemania that bit better because, churning out songs like this, they deserved to be worshipped that way. Oh, and skip to like, 30 seconds in- that annoying intro is not The Beatles fault!

4. Belle & Sebastian- Piazza, New York Catcher

Belle and Sebastian are in my top three favourite bands, and this is my all time favourite track by them. It manages to be happy and sad, light and dark at once. It's so simple and so pretty, with such cute lyrics with so many double, triple, quadruple meanings. Stuart Murdoch is so fucking intelligent with his words and I absolutely love his voice, which is in a heavenly place between whispering and whining.

3. Lady GaGa- Love Game

I must say that, after hearing Lady GaGa's album, the fame, I know for sure that pop/electro crossover artists everywhere will be quaking in their boots. She's young, she's hot and she's definately smart. She makes credible, fresh dance tracks with an electro vibe laced through them, complete with sexually ambiguous lyrics and tight leather outfits. And Love Game is the one I keep coming back to, although I recommend Boys Boys Boys strongly, as well. Pave the way for GaGa mania!

2. Smash Mouth- All Star

It's so uncool to admit this, but I first heard this song on the opening credits of Shrek! Don't let this put you off. It's biting anf cynical with amazing uses of irony and guitars. They're the perfect pop band: amazing, good quality tunes with a feel good factor and catchy hook, minus the formation dance routines and matching outfits. Smash Mouth: The most underrated band ever. How come Westlife made it big and they didn't?

1. Third Eye Blind- Semi Charmed Life

Again, it's majorly uncool to admit it, but I heard this song on an episode of Sabrina The Teenage Witch. Expecting a light-rock./power pop fare involving lyrics about loving your baby, I was surprised and extremely amused to discover that underneath the relentlessly cheery melody and 'do do do do's' are dark and cynical lyrics about the ups and downs of crystal meth addiction. The contrast between the content and the first impressions are so amazing that it had to be number one!

Oh, Atticus..

Everyone has heard of To Kill A Mockingbird. But I guess not many people my age have read it without being forced to. I'm one of the minority that did- I picked it up on my holiday this summer and ever since I've picked it up and reread it countless times. Why? Because, simply, it is a great novel with a great message and wonderful narration. It's a portrait of innocence being corrupted; of the injustice of society in the 1930's through the eyes of a child. And no voice is more resonant in describing how ugly the world can be.

I wanted to read it just to see what all the fuss was about. Usually, I tend to hate anything that's too mainstream or too well known- I like to feel like I've discovered something wonderful that is a secret just for me. But after reading this book, I didn't mind; infact, I wanted other people to read it just so that something inside them clicked the way it did with me. I wanted everyone to understand how Scout felt. I wanted everyone to cry for poor Tom Robinson, the real 'mockingbird' of the title.

It was such an insightful book and it remains a big favourite of mine. It was such an accurate portrait of humans, especially back in the 1930's. People were so judgemental and harsh; so quick to derride other people. I wanted to throw a brick at most of them, but it was just the norm. I thanked the lord to be living in much fairer times, with much more equality, for both gender and race!

And can I just say again, poor Tom Robinson? I cried, cried again and cried some more at his plight which probably makes me a bit sappy but I don't care. And I totally love Dill, who was based on another wonderful writer of the time, Truman Capote (of Breakfast at Tiffany's fame) because he was a childhood friend to Harper Lee. Their 'engagement' made me smile. I love the contrasts between naivety and corruption in this book. Actually, I love everything about it. I even loved Calpurnia, although I would totally stove her head in if I lived with her.

Movie Review: St. Elmo's Fire

Yay for the Brat Pack! I think everyone who has ever seen this movie really, really wants a group of friends exactly like this. Dysfunctional, maybe; but so, so tight. You just know automatically that these seven people would do anything for eachother, even though they get on eachother's nerves. I mean, you can tell that Jules totally wants to run Billy over in that scene outside his house, but you know she still cares.

Although definately one of the 80s classics, I don't think St. Elmo's Fire can really be called a teen movie, cause it revolves around college graduates. However, it definately has a teen film vibe to it- just some of the raw emotion and some of the issues. But then, one of the strongest themes in the film is the characters immaturity and inability to break away from their college lives, so I guess it's to be expected.

One of my favourite things about the movie is that, although it's a complex plot, the film doesn't sink under all the information. Often, movies with ensemble casts load too much information in, and it feels like you're watching three movies at once, which is trés confusing. But with St Elmo's Fire, everything was woven together so intricately that you really did feel emotions for those people. You got to know that so well that you truly cared. You cried when Jules tried to kill herself. You wanted to comfort Wendy over Billy's ignorance. You longed to tell Leslie about Alec fucking the blonde sales girl. And I think that marks a brilliant movie.

Oh, and did I mention that three of my favourite 80's heartthrobs were in this? I was madly in love with Judd Nelson in The Breakfast Club as the rebel, and Emilio Estevez was pretty hot in that, too, with his brooding 'troubled athlete' persona. Then Andrew McCarthy in Pretty In Pink has me drooling every time I watch it because he has this certain cute smile and way of flicking his hair that will be a non-negotiable requirement for whoever I marry. His pessimistic writer character in this bore some similarities with myself, so I guess I drew some paralells between Kevin and I and that's why I like him the best. Although it's definately Demi Moore's best film. It's even better than Ghost. Oh, and this scene made me the happiest girl alive because it combines two of these hotties talking about love. Every young girl's dream, much?

I've said it before and I'll say it again: I wish I'd been a teen in the 80s.

Movie Review: Pretty In Pink

It's probably quite obvious that I have an unhealthy obsession with 80s teen movies by now. And Pretty in Pink is a total classic. It has Molly Ringwald starring, who was the original Brat Pack girl, playing her trademark role as the poor but intelligent and cute girl from the wrong side of town. And she is admired by the hunk that was Andrew McCarthy in the mid 80s. Ooh, I have such a crush on him!

The plotline is fairly simple. Andie Walsh is a pretty young teenage girl who makes her own clothes because she has no money, and looks after her father who is still in pieces after her Moms abandonment. She's quirky and smart, she has a job in a record store and she is best friends with Duckie- a quirky guy with unusual dress sense who just happens to be head over heels in love with Andie. Not that she realises- although throughout the movie it couldn't be more freaking obvious. And then there's Blane McDonnough. He's a rich senior heartthrob with money who could have just about any girl- yet all he wants is Andie.

Of course, this causes some problems with his snobby friends, who feel that Blane dating Andie is lowering the tone of their social circle, yadda yadda. But in the end, in typical teen movie style, the triumph over their respective difficulties- Andie's dad finally gets back on track after realising her mum is never coming back, and she makes up with Duckie, and Blane tells his clique to go fuck themselves- love conquers all, and the closing scene, with the hazy kiss in the parking lot, is every sixteen year old girls dream for their prom night.

I have to say, I always felt a lot of sympathy for Duckie. He was the cute, eclectic one and it seems that those kind of people always lose out, doesn't it? It did make me a little sad that he was so deeply in love with Andie that he gave her up because he knew it would make her happy. Well, Andie, if you don't want him, can I please have him? Jon Cryer is so cute, I wanted to put him in a jar and keep him!

Although not my favourite Brat Pack movie- that title has to go to The Breakfast Club- it's certainly one I could watch over and over. This has to be my favourite scene in the whole movie:



It’s cute, it’s sweet, it’s maybe a little bit predictable. But it shaped every teen movie you see today- without Pretty in Pink, Mean Girls would never have been. So give it the respect it deserves.

Sick like Sid and Nancy?

I'm aware how fucked up it is that I'd love a relationship like Sid and Nancy's. I mean, it's crazy- their tumultuous 21-month relationship, littered with heroin and squalid hotel rooms, is hardly the stuff love stories are made of. Except that it is, in a way. Think about it: almost every movie you see has some attractive young couple fighting adversity and winning, only to live happily ever after. Sid and Nancy were fighting adversity, alright; it's just that they lost in the end. Whatever you want to say about them- and I guess there's a shit load of bad stuff that you could easily throw at them- they were deeply in love.


Their entire relationship fascinates me. I suppose I have a complex for beautiful, fucked up people in love (hence my Kurt and Courtney obsession- the Sid and Nancy of the 90's, much?) and they don't come more beautiful or fucked up than Vicious and Spungen.

The thing that triggered my interest was, I admit, the movie Sid and Nancy. I know that Johnny Rotten has been very vocal about his hatred of the movie, but I love it. And although not the most factual account of what happened- there's a list of small errors on Wikipedia longer than my arm- I think it captured the basic essence of the two of them. It certainly showed the basic dynamics between them- the screaming, shouting fights, Nancy's incessant whining and the drug fuelled nights were naturally the dominant state, but there were odd moments of tenderness between the two that showed everyone that actually, underneath all the shit (of which there was a lot, admittedly) they were crazy about eachother.


And this admission will probably render me mentally ill, but I was so in love with the notion Nancy was obsessed with- live fast, die young. Go out in a blaze of glory. See, I have an irrational phobia of old age- so to die young and beautiful with someone you love as much as they loved eachother is not as disgusting to me as it is to most people. In fact, I think it's romantic. And I guess in the end they got what they wanted. Sid died on 2 February 1979, less than four months after Nancy was found murdered in the bathroom of their squalid bedsit in the infamous Chelsea Hotel. And I know everybody hates on Nancy all the time, cause she was a total pain in the ass but I actually felt pretty sorry for her. She was mentally ill- you look it up, you'll see she had a huge of psychological problems. When I hear people ragging on her non stop, I can't help but pity the silly bitch.

Now comes the part where we talk about whether Sid killed Nancy. And my answer? I don't think he did. I know they argued furiously almost al the time, but I honestly and truthfully believe he loved her too much to stab her the way she was stabbed. I was always a fan of the Rockets Redglare theory; that shifty bastard was there that night, and something wasn't right about it. But they're both gone now- they've been gone for 30 years. It doesn't matter anymore how they died. The point is that they died. They got their blaze of glory, I guess. It's just a shame that the blackness of drug addiction and dingy bedsit rooms had to pervade over their last months on earth. I'll end this rant with a poem Sid wrote about Nancy some months after her death. When I read it, it made me cry.

You were my little baby girl,
And I shared all your fears.
Such joy to hold you in my arms
and kiss away your tears.
But now you're gone, there's only pain
and nothing I can do.
And I don't want to live this life,
If I can't live for you.
To my beautiful baby girl.
Our love will never die...